Gay? Yay!

>> Tuesday, May 20, 2008

First, I don’t write for a while because I’ve been kind of uninspired -- wanting to live more and reflect less, if you know what I mean.

Next, I put up a short dialogue between my girls about poop and haircuts. Sweet.

Now, just to keep you on your toes, I’d like to “take it down” for a moment. That’s right. Turn down the house lights, hand me the microphone, and give me a minute to perch myself atop this barstool.

Because I’d like to have a little talk about Love, people.

That’s right. Love.

On Thursday, California’s Supreme Court ruled in favor of Marriage.


I know -- you probably thought that people could already get married. Hey, probably most of you reading this now are either married, plan to marry in the future, know someone who’s married, or (ahem) have a “married” person in your family.

And for the most part, it’s pretty nice, isn’t it? In your standard decent marriage, you look out for each other. You have shared experiences. You turn to each other and laugh at the same stupid jokes. You know how your partner sleeps at night, whether he’s grumpy or sexy (or both) in the morning, and what her driving habits are like. Your partner challenges you personally and emotionally, and together you try to earn a decent wage, pay your taxes, buy lots of goods and services, and improve your community in some small way.

This Marriage Thing sounds like a great idea! That must be why so many people are trying to do it.

But apparently people can not get married. Bizarre. I know I’m a naive idealist, but I always thought it was common sense that two consenting, committed, loving adults could marry and, in fact, should get married. After all, don’t married people live longer, have fewer accidents, buy more real estate and generally contribute positively to our society financially?

It seems to me, then, that the following would be a no-brainer:

Love = Good

Commitment = Good

Marriage = Good

In fact, if I’m not mistaken, it’s all good.

But until last Thursday, Massachusetts was the only state in the U.S. to support commitment and marriage between two consenting adults. Now I am thrilled to say that I live in another state (on the opposite side of the map -- uh-oh, you're surrounded...) that honors love between two people and respects basic human rights.

I know what some of you may be thinking. If I let The Gays get married, my world will collapse! I’ll have to bypass one more bubble on the consensus form and some of my favorite Hallmark cards will be replaced with Gay Marriage cards in the grocery store. And those Gays will need double the shelf space because they’ll have “Her and Her” and “Him and Him” cards. What a pisser!

But we Americans are a strong people. We can handle it. Not to mention, there’s a lot of genuine badness going down right now. I work in an office (a small office, mind you) with the following grim statistics:

- A coworker had a stroke in December.

- My boss is about to begin her second round of chemo to fight breast cancer.

- A coworker’s mother-in-law passed away in January.

- Another coworker lost her mother-in-law to a brain tumor last month.

- A coworker’s friend died last Friday from Leukemia.

- A coworker had hip surgery in January.

- Another coworker is scheduled for surgery in the near future.

OK. It’s easy to think my office has been cursed. Perhaps we really should stop playing with the Oujia Board and it was probably a bad idea to sell our soul to the Devil for a lifetime supply of Butterfingers. But if you think this terrible news is limited to my small circle, think again:

- We’re fighting a war in Iraq.

- An earthquake in China killed more than 40,000 people.

- Children are dying in Ethiopia.

- 133,00 people are dead or missing in Myanmar.

And on, and on, and on...

But I’m not trying to bring you down. Really. Because there’s a lot of good stuff going on right now, too. In November, I get to take part in one of the most significant elections in American history, my first born is starting kindergarten in the Fall, and (so far) my hermit crabs have not kicked the bucket. Yes!

And like a cascade of chocolate sprinkles falling atop the ice cream sundae that is my life, now two consenting same-sex adults -- not an adult and a child, not an adult and a goat, not four adults, a rabbit and a snake named “Bruce” -- but two consenting adults can now get married.

And I am happy.

Gay Marriage is a ray of light in this dark time. It is one of the few positive issues facing us today -- one where I feel I’m fighting to make something good happen, instead of fighting to stop something horrible from happening like the depletion of our water supply or endless war.

No, instead I’m fighting for Love -- I’m fighting for basic civil rights between two consenting adults. Homosexual couples not only deserve the same opportunities as heterosexual couples, they have a right to those opportunities. And hopefully soon, two people who love each other and want to share their lives will be allowed to marry.

How awesome is that?!

Of course there are people who oppose Gay Marriage. They think it’s “icky” (Hello -- have you ever seen heterosexual sex?) or they believe it is an abomination before God.

Wait -- a random thought just popped into my head...

Remember that line from Hannah and Her Sisters in which Frederick (played by Max von Sydow) remarks, “If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing up?” Huh. I’m not sure why I thought of that just now.


This is a happy time for me. Don’t worry -- I’m not too naive. I know the opposition is trying to destroy the CA supreme court ruling. I know that the battle is far from over and I may not have the opportunity to celebrate gay marriage in Texas for a long, long time. But today there is light - a tiny flicker of hope.

And just so it doesn’t get too dark in here, I’ll keep my candle lit.


Here’s a link for the research-minded:

Freedom to Marry


Dawn May 21, 2008 at 10:46 AM  

Go you!

You said everything I think about marriage. Marriage is for people who love each other and are committed to one another. Gender should not matter.

Thank you for the refreshing post.

And yes, stop playing the ouija board.

Sarah D May 21, 2008 at 6:15 PM  


It is such a sad day when people are more concerened about what two people who love each other (or not, not my business) do in their bedroom that they neglect to focus on the real issues that this country is facing today.

Seperating of church and state keeps it real!

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city',  May 22, 2008 at 10:16 PM  

melissa just to give credit where credit is due i *think* new jersey also allows same-sex marriage. don't know if this link
is up to date, but if not that one, another will explain in detail. this is a really impt issue, and one of these years the presidential candidates will have to support it. we've made a lot of progress, but the rest of the country is not where CA, MA, and NJ are. congrats to CA. mimi

Michele May 27, 2008 at 11:04 AM  

same-sex marriage in Texas. Bwaaaa haaa haaa ... can you hear me laughing all the way in CA??? That would be almost like banning Texans from driving trucks : )

Lunasea May 28, 2008 at 4:19 PM  

Awesome post!

Sorry about all the people in your office - yikes. Butterfingers are good, though.

Anonymous,  August 31, 2009 at 11:46 PM  

I just happened across your blog and was looking through the archives.. this is an amazing post. If only there were more people who felt this way. People who could focus on what really matters in the world. Bless your heart.

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