Cords and Fleece

So we’re watching Francis Ford Coppola’s production of Koyaanisqatsi with the girls the other night... (Say what?) Yes, Koyaanisqatsi . It’s a great movie to watch with kids. Loosely translated, Koyaanisqatsi means “Life Out of Balance”, so I’m sure most parents out there can relate. Here’s the Wikipedia description: Koyaanisqatsi is a 1982 film directed by Godfrey Reggio [and] consists primarily of slow motion and time-lapse photography of cities and natural landscapes across the United States. The visual tone poem contains neither dialogue nor a vocalized narration: its tone is set by the juxtaposition of images and music. In the Hopi language, the word Koyaanisqatsi means 'life of moral corruption and turmoil, life out of balance', and the film implies that modern humanity is living in such a way. Sound familiar? The girls were mesmerized. The movement. The repetition. People and objects going up and down. Fast and slow. It's strangely perfect for kids. (It’s really not...

  We bought the girls a Barney video -- mostly so we could hear them sing the I Love You song over and over. Hearing it makes us feel good. “ I love you, you love me. We’re a happy family... ” Magically, our doubts dissolve. Our eyes glaze over. We’re a happy family, right? Right?! “ With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won’t you say you love me, too? ” Come on girls, say it. Tell me you love me! Ah, yes. Gotta love the not-so-subtle manipulation to love one’s family without question. It’s very much in line with the current trend of positive thinking. If you think everything is fine, then it will be. Right? Perhaps if we burn this positive family message into their subconscious, they’ll believe it -- even when they hate me someday for not letting them pierce their tongues, or drive motorcycles, or date white rappers. Yes, just as Elizabeth is about to run away with Assmaster J. to be a roady with his band, Fuckasm , she opens the birthday card I gave her with a picture ...

I want to be the first one to drive the bubble-dome car. Remember the bubble-dome car? It’s the car Homer Simpson invented when his half-brother owned the auto-manufacturing plant. For some strange reason, it popped into my brain the other day while driving home after work with the kids. Dubbed “The Homer”, it had lots of crazy features, but my favorite has to be the “bubble dome”. It may seem a bit extreme, but hear me out. While the dome may separate parents from kids, it brings parents closer to sanity. It also reduces the number of times a child has to hear “No!” or “Stop That!” or “Don’t ever make that noise again!” In short, it restores peace where chaos and stress normally reigns. We commute with our girls between one hour to 90 minutes each day. That’s a lot of family time, and it’s not always pleasant. In the “olden days” when Daddy went to work, he could take his time and drive home alone, shaking off the work day, listening to his own music and “bucking up” for the family. M...