The Good, The Bad, and The Booty

>> Friday, February 1, 2008

Samantha: “I want to play Boggle, Daddy!”

Michael: “This game is for people who know how to read.”

Samantha: “Yes, but I’m tall!”

Michael: “Well, height really has nothing to do with literacy.”


Elizabeth: “Look! It’s a dradle.” (pause) “I made it out of clay!”

And she really did. And we laughed really hard.


Me: “I had a dream that you were mad at me and I went to a used record store and bought Michael Jackson’s Off the Wall for you in order to make up.”

Michael: “Are you sure you didn’t buy the record first and then I got mad at you?”


Elizabeth: “How come kids only know about being fair and not grownups?”


Me (to friends): “We got a kitten!”

Michael: “She misunderstood -- that’s not exactly what I meant when I said ‘I wanted more pussy’.”

Oh, yes he did.


Me: “Meg’s touching your bone.”

(Meg is the cat and the bone is obviously Michael’s penis -- certainly not a drumstick.)


Michael (while searching through the trunk of the car): “Is my rain coat up there?”

Me: “No, it’s not. Aren’t there some umbrellas back there?”

Michael: “Mmmm... only fruity ones.”

Me: “What?”

Michael: “Let’s see, my choices are a giant green frog umbrella or a Winnie the Poo umbrella.”

Me (chuckling): “Well, it’s better than getting wet.”

Michael: “Uh, no -- it’s not.”

And off he walked into the rain...


Elizabeth: “I wish girls had chocolate butts.”

Me: Pause. Process. Blink. “Huh?”

Elizabeth: “Because then you could lick their booty.”

Oh, yes she did. I just love daycare.


Dating Trooper - Dating is Warfare February 1, 2008 at 11:20 AM  

First of all, Michael Jackson's Off the Wall is just about the only shred of evidence left for why he deserves to be famous in the first place! So shame on your hubby for scoffing.

Second, do men EVER get tired of the did I mean "pussy" or "cat" joke? Seriously, Wine Guy exercises this joke on a daily basis at least! (Yet, it still makes me giggle so I guess he is encouraged...)

mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city',  February 1, 2008 at 4:44 PM  

day care! yeah, it's starting early, "education from one's peers."

great soundbites...

Dawn February 9, 2008 at 11:47 PM  

Love the booty and the pussy excerpts. Needed a laugh, thank you.

Post a Comment