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The Experiment

 
HYPOTHESES

A. Having a reasonable point (i.e. we have lots of debt and we need to pay off our bills...) does not give one the right to be a snotty-ass.

B. Insecurity does not give one the right to be defensive and impractical.

C. One acquires more flies with honey.

D. Politeness aids digestion.

EXPERIMENT #1: UNCONTROLLED

Husband and wife discuss money issues. They are, for the moment, content. Two minutes later...

[Scientific Observer turns away in disgust at childlike behavior...]

Asshole jerk-off, thinks the wife. She is frustrated.

This debt is like a vice around my balls and I want it to go away! Doesn’t anyone get that?! thinks the husband. He is frustrated.

Husband has heartburn. Wife has heartburn. Scientific Observer has heartburn.

EXPERIMENT #2: POLITENESS ADDED

Husband and wife discuss money issues. They are, for the moment, content.

Add Politeness...

"Could you give me the money from last night so I can deposit it," the husband asks nicely.

"Sure. It's in my wallet. Let me get it for you," the wife agrees.

Wife goes through cash and holds onto $35. Husband waits patiently but has an idea.

"Could I have everything but $25?" he asks.

"Well, I'd like to hold onto $35 for lunches and stuff over the next couple of weeks."

"I understand. But I was really hoping to put as much money as possible towards some of our bills and to pay of our debt."

"Oh," she says, understanding. "Sure -- I'll just keep the twenty."

"Thanks. I love you."

"I love you, too, sweetie."

Husband hugs wife.

Wife playfully slaps husband on the ass.

They digest.

The end.

CONCLUSION

Experiment #2 utilized polite, respectful communication to explain motivations. The participants did not make assumptions about the other person's perspective, nor did they judge the other person for not instantly seeing something in the same way the other person saw it. They explained themselves thoroughly and nicely so as to not put their partners on the defensive. This caused their partners to retain an open-mind in communication, thus giving alternate viewpoints their full and complete consideration.

In other words, politeness aids digestion and has the added benefit of garnering unexpected affection and ass-slaps.

Which reminds me -- where can I get a bottle of Politeness? It seems our prescription has run out.
 
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Comments

Dawn said…
I think I need a shot of politeness, not sure I ever had any.
January 29, 2008 at 6:25 PM
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