I Want to Do Something to You

>> Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I’m cooking dinner -- Polish sausage, mashed potatoes and sauerkraut. Samantha comes over to me.

“I like your ponytail, Mommy.”

“Thank you, sweetie,” I say as I stir the potatoes.

“I like your toenails, Mommy.”

“You’re so sweet.”

“You’re beautiful in your dress.”

At that I put down my spoon and bend down to hug her. “Thank you so much, Samantha. What a nice thing to say.”

“I make you sooo happy, Mommy,” she says and hugs me extra hard.

“Yes, you do,” I agree and hug back.”You’re a wonderful girl.”

“And Elizabeth makes you sooo mad! You look like this,” then she purses her lips, bares her teeth, and scowls.

Poor Lizzy. We had a rough day. I finally gave her two options: either sit in time out, or draw a picture of her listening to Mommy and Daddy. Hey, you never know. She might be able to pull it off. This is the age of openness and creativity, right?

She looked bewildered and chose a time out.

Perhaps tomorrow I’ll ask her to draw religion.


“Mommy, I want to do something to you.”

Elizabeth comes up to me, gritting her teeth and making a scary face.

“Uh, what do you want to do?”

“I’m going to do something to you.” Her voice is low and demonic, her head pointed downward. She looks up at me beneath her eyebrows.

“Uh, I don’t know, Lizzy...” This doesn’t look good.

Then she reaches out slowly, menacingly, and suddenly... throws her arms around me and gives me a great big kiss.


She giggles and skips away. I laugh nervously and make a mental note: beware of mind games.


Hands on hips. Volume loud. Eyes intense.

“You said you were going to watch Elmo with me and YOU FORGOT!”

“You hurt my feelings, Mommy! That’s MEAN!”

“I’m talking!”

“I don’t like that song. I want WALTZING MATILDO!”


Samantha. Practicing her voice.

“Everybody stop yelling!”

Me. Practicing mine.

"Who wants to go to Disneyland?"

Daddy. Practicing his.

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