While folding the laundry...
Elizabeth: “Hey, Mommy. You can watch TV and fold laundry at the same time!”
Me: “Yes, I can. I can do two things at once.”
Elizabeth: “So can I! I can watch TV and lay down at the same time!”
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It’s morning and we’re waking up the girls. Elizabeth turns over, sleepy-eyed, sucking on her pacifier. She plucks it from her mouth and asks:
“Mommy, if someone gives you a real gun at Christmas, then what?”
Elizabeth, is there something you’re not telling me?
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Me: “Are you going to yell when we go through the [train] tunnel?”
Samantha: “No.”
Me: “Well, I think I’m going to yell. Hoot! Hoot!”
Samantha: “You don’t have to yell.”
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Elizabeth (on toilet): “Mommy, I love you even when I poo-poo.”
Awww.
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Elizabeth (loudly at a Chinese restaurant): “I want to go to the Chinese bathroom!”
As if using the Chinese bathroom would somehow involve chop sticks and lazy susans...
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Songs that are better through misinterpretation:
“My baby does the Hangy Baby!”
(My Baby Does the Hanky Panky)
“Hang on, stupid! Stupid, hang on!”
(Hang on Sloopy)
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