It's morning. As usual, everyone in our family is piled into our bed.
“Daddy, I want a muffin.” That’s Elizabeth.
“We don’t have any muffins.” That’s Michael.
“Daddy?! I want a muffin.”
“I can’t get it for you if we don’t have it.”
“Please, I want a muffin!”
“Elizabeth, go into the kitchen and get me an elephant.” He's so clever...
“Huh?”
“Go into the kitchen and get me an elephant.”
“But you can’t eat an elephant.” We are, after all, talking about eating breakfast.
“OK. Then go into the kitchen and bring me a nice hot spaghetti dinner.”
“Well, you can have the leftovers.”
Let’s see if I can help...
“Lizzy, why don’t you go into the kitchen and get a big birthday cake for Daddy?” I know we don’t have that.
“OK! I’ll make one,” Lizzy says and begins to climb off the bed.
“But it has to be real,” says Michael. That'll show her.
“Don’t forget to put candles on it!” Samantha adds.
“And it has to say ‘happy birthday, daddy’ on it,” Michael adds. Because she couldn’t possibly produce a nonexistent cake that says ‘happy birthday, daddy’ on it.
“But I can’t write in pencil.”
Aha! “That’s right! You can’t draw it. It has to be a real cake,” says Michael, hoping to bring home the point that we clearly don’t have such a cake and clearly one can not produce something that one does not have -- like an elephant, hot spaghetti dinner, or a muffin!
“Don’t forget to blow the candles out, Daddy!” Samantha says.
“I can write ‘happy birthday’ on it. I'll make it right now,” says Lizzy, because she can do anything.
“But...”
“Happy birthday to you, Daddy!” sings Samantha.
“But...”
“Great! We’re having a birthday party! I’ll make the invitations!” says Lizzy.
“Wait. You guys are missing the point!”
Honey, that sounds good. Can I have a muffin for breakfast, too?
And that’s when Daddy’s head explodes.
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