Skip to main content

The Sadder-But-Wiser Car Seat for Me


Well, that didn’t take long.

It has been 4 months since either of the girls vomited in the car. In that time, we’ve lulled into vomit-free complacency. While we didn’t dare utter these thoughts out loud, we hoped that perhaps the weekly (sometimes twice weekly, sometimes thrice weekly) moments of stripping down and cleaning one of the girls in the closest parking lot were over.

With renewed optimism, my husband came home Sunday afternoon with two shiny new black car seats for our ever-growing girls. They played hide and seek inside the enormous boxes while he assembled and wrestled the seats into the car. On Monday morning, we happily strapped the girls into their “big-girl” seats, and demonstrated their new cup holders and padded headrests.

I can only blame too much homemade lemonade for what happened that afternoon.

10 minutes into the car ride home, Elizabeth complained that she had a tummy ache. She then proceeded to complain that she had a toe ache, a nose ache, and a finger ache, so don’t blame me for not taking her too seriously.

Then I heard that sound -- that wet, water gushing from somewhere, which doesn’t make sense because we’re in a car so it could only mean...vomit! sound.

My heart cried a desperate No! Since I was driving on the freeway, I could only glance back in frequent intervals, creating a road-vomit-road-vomit montage in my brain which I’m sure will give me nightmares someday.

Are you OK, sweetie? I asked, glancing over my shoulder just long enough to see her nod Yes and start again.

Then something unexpected happened. With each additional spew (there were at least four), I felt myself relax a little bit (spew-relax-spew-relax...) A pleasant surrender slowly washed over me. It was over.

I don’t mean that the vomiting was over (although it stopped eventually and Elizabeth felt as good as gold afterwards.) No, I mean the stress of keeping the new car seat clean and pristine was magically and violently washed away with each enthusiastic spew. I no longer have to obsess over every crumb that falls between her legs and the cushions. Who cares if she eats a lollipop in her new seat, anymore? Here, sweetie, have a Jamba Juice!

So I must confess, in a strange way I’m glad it’s over. Until yesterday afternoon, there was nothing but stress in my future. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I only had to endure the stress of keeping her car seat clean for 16 hours. (Damn, I’m a “half-full” kind of girl.)

Now that the seat has been disassembled, scrubbed and washed (God, all those little crevices), it will never be the same again. It is corrupted -- like the rest of is. My robe, the rug, my shirts, my naked shoulder, and the car seat that came before have all been christened in this personal way. Welcome.

And once again, I have learned that new, breakable, and/or shiny things are intimidating and to be avoided at all costs. I'm learning to love things that have... experience. Mr. Harold Hill (aka The Music Man) once said, “The sadder but wiser girl’s the girl for me...”

Well, Music Man, it’s the sadder by wiser car seat for me.




Previous Comments

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Score One for the Bad Guys

Apparently, Lizzy and Samantha have a soft spot in their hearts for the bad guys. After all, in their world the bad guys always get shot, beaten, or killed by super heroes, they always land in jail, and they’re never attractive. So when I heard strange phrases in hushed tones coming from the toy room the other day, phrases like, take off his clothes ... and hand me that bug ... and, put that on his vagina , I had to ask: What is going on in there?! After some debate between the two of them (n o, don’t tell mommy ... it’s OK, just don’t tell daddy ... and so on) they finally fessed up that they were playing a game with Barbies and other creatures wherein the bad guys win. Here’s how it works: In this game, the bad guys torture the good guys by making them take off all their clothes and then placing mind-controlling bugs on their vaginas . The bugs contain a virus that infects their hosts, thus enabling the bad guys to control the actions and behaviors of the good guys. Ergo, the b

About This Blog

Right off the top, it's a goofy name. I was looking for a new name for my blog, and then one morning I had the following exchange with my husband. We were taking our daughter to preschool and found ourselves following a well-dressed mom wearing a cute little skirt and high heels. I tilted my head to one side like a puppy noticing something strange for the first time. Michael also tilted his head, but was thinking of something else. "How come you don't wear skirts and high heels to work?" he asked. "She must be freezing. It doesn't seem practical." "She doesn't seem to mind." "I suppose not." Two heads tilt to the other side. "Oh well, I guess I'm more of a cords and fleece kind of girl." Two heads straighten. And there you have it -- a blog title based entirely on what I like to wear in the wintertime. Talk about impractical. The former title was Domestic Irritation. I liked that title a lot -- i

Got No Class, Got No Clue

Soccer, kung fu, or gymnastics? Art, piano, or dance? Fencing? I want to enroll Elizabeth in some sort of class, but it's just not going well. I'm not sure if the problem is me... OK, it is me . Take ME out of the equation and the "problem" magically disappears. Lizzy is just not interested in joining a team or taking a class, and Michael isn't keen to sign her up (and thus spend money) for a class she won't enjoy or may not participate in fully. He has a point. We enrolled her in soccer last year, and while most kids ran up and down the field kicking their balls, Lizzy stopped to examine a flower. When the kids stood in "ready position" (standing in line with one foot atop their soccer balls), she sat on her ball at the end of the line. While other kids weaved their balls around little orange traffic cones, Lizzy picked up a cone, turned it upside, placed her soccer ball on top of it, and pretended to lick it like an ice cream cone. That is Lizzy i